i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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