he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
