Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
