Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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