dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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