it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
