This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
