so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
