Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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