I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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