so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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