Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
