he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it glows. i had to have it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
