I have demons in me.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
