I wish I could teleport
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
