So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
