i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
as a side note pls kill me
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize