But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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