i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
