Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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