maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
