I skipped work to stalk him.
You smell like stripper and shame
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
