Sry I called you an 8
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize