What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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