You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
