stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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