:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
