he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
