Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
