We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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