office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
