did you get engaged???
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
