my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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