ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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