if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
