I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
