He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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