Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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