I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
