Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
