We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
