How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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