It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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