So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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