K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
