You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
