i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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