I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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