i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
