I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
How's work?
Spinning.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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