Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
