I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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