so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We need to get me chipped asap
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
