people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
