it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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