Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
