fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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