Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize