i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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