I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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