Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
