We're like a lot better than the average bears
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
