I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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