i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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