Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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