She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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