if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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