I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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