he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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