Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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